F E A R
Fear is a funny thing. Not funny-haha but funny-strange! I was afraid for the first time last night.
*definition: anxiety that something bad or unpleasant will happen.
You see we’d driven 8k up a dodgy, pot-holed dirt #track to camp beside a fresh water mountain stream we hope to bathe in this morning (knowing we’ll need to brace ourselves against the freezing cold); in some remote, totally out-of-the-way, no-phone-reception kinda place.
Yea, we’re the only people here & #Telstra reception appears to be controlled by the bees…. From one tiny blinking bar to ‘no service’ at the breath of wind created by the stirring of a bee’s wing.
|And there’s PLENTY of bees here! We MUST be camped beside their hive.|
But the #bees don’t scare me. They’re fine, so long as we put some #alfalfa sprouts & some blue vein #cheese out for them (yep, the weirdest appetites; blue vein cheese brought them in droves & sent them into a feeding frenzy only equal to sharks in a bloodbath – if that #analogy is not going too far 😁).
We can #almost eat our meals without swallowing one, provided we do lots of the traditional-Aussie-wave between bites. Strange weirdo bees!
But my fear came from feeling #VULNERABLE.
We’re no more vulnerable than anywhere else, so the fear has no #foundation – but I battled it anyway.
It’s a bugger of a thing: unfounded fear. It can be #debilitating. That’s where having faith can be a life-saver, eh!
I mean, we’re not STUPID enough to intentionally put ourselves in dangerous positions – that’s just foolish. And we ALWAYS trust my #gut instinct~ if I get the creeps over a campsite, we simply mosey-on; we don’t kick around & test if I’m right. We trust my gut.
So I didn’t have a bad gut-feeling about where we live right now, just allowed #insidious fear to creep up on me – & then had to battle it with rationale & faith.
It’s a crazy thing.
Take the night before, for example. We camped at a rest stop where an older couple had already parked. They were experienced travellers, & had a female friend travelling in her stationwagon with them, so she had their company to feel safe.
Well, bursting-in on the quiet tranquility, these “four ‘bongo’ vans with P-plate drivers all high on that funny stuff” (was the warning we received from a day-picnicker, with the shake of a head.)…Which reminds me, for some strange reason, of that scene with Larry Miller talking to his daughter Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles) in the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, when Walter Stratford: says ‘What’s normal? Those damn Dawson’s River kids, sleeping in each other’s beds and whatnot?’ (Remember Dawson’s Creek TV show?) Haha classic!
Anyway they all pulled up in a puff of Cheech&Chong-smoke, bloodshot-eyes, a clatter of beer cans & the strum of an old, yet well-tuned it turned out, guitar.
Dreadlocks & bare chests, tie-dyed coverings over the dilapidated vans’ windows, an assortment of absolute crap scattered messily upon their dashes, & strange drawings & signing on beaten-up, rusted, moaning ‘bongo’ vans.
We were instantly offered the fattest joint I’ve seen in ages – if we hadn’t quit smoking pot, all our Christmases would have come at once right there & then.
We chatted amicably to the drowsy laid-back, unwashed, motly, very friendly, loveable crew.
BUT the older couple & lady were #scared!
They were facing something they weren’t familiar with & were fearful of the unknown; particularly the lady who was to sleep in her stationwagon alone.
I’m glad we were there to reassure them this ‘pack’ of young people were safe as houses (something none of us on the road have the luxury or safety of).
If it was crack or ice or even too much alcohol – then we’d be high-tailing it outa there – we’ve seen that scene & it’s beyond reasoning, just downright #scary!
But these guys were peace-loving groovers who smoked themselves into a quiet sing-along before drifting off to peaceful sleep.
I had no fear then – even though they had parked Buzz in so we couldn’t leave without asking them next morning to upset their carefully-formed ‘circle’ of their coloured vans with the communal tarpaulin tied firmly over the centre (picture semi ‘carnival ferals’ or ‘circus freaks’) but which was, nevertheless, very effective; there was never a question of them rising up in revolt & clubbing us to death. (Sorry, might have got carried away again there.)
Anyway, here we are, it’s another day. No fear!
We’re alive & well.
I just felt to share about my fear because it’s a commonly asked question.
It’s not often it comes, but occasionally it does. And, as usual, it was nothing more than a vapour.
And, as usual, if there were demons to fight & ‘baddies’ to keep away, it was done by angels at the Lord’s bidding while we slept, as usual. Praise the Lord.
‘God has not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power & a sound mind.’ It says that in the Bible – along with another truckload of promises how faith overcomes fear.
Good book, I highly recommend it.
POST SCRIPT: we’ve bathed in the mountain stream, teeth not quite as clenched as imagined but it’s possibly because our #bodies have gone #numb (I can’t feel my legs); fought the bees for our brekky, & won YaY! & sit sipping billy tea & praying. I reckon it’s guna be a ripper of a day!! How’s yours?
Phew! We live to tell #another tale & share more
Luv. Joy. & Happy Vibes.