Hi. My name’s Chrissy & it’s been four days since my last #shower. I know I #stink & my ‘fur’ has grown back so rapidly in the rugged mountain air that the flees from our fellow camper’s #dog have bailed off him & jumped onto me in such an explosion of joy I can see tiny coloured hats upon their heads & just make out miniature party-blowers in their mouths.
It is time to attempt a #shower.
SET UP: Our tarp is roughly tied to Buzz with #rope, & fairly large rocks placed along the bottom of it in an attempt to secure it in these howling winds long enough for some semi-privacy to strip butt-naked. Alas it is not to be.
THE INCIDENT: The shower head #explodes completely off the hose within seconds of the little motor beginning to purr. In a burst of shooting water that drenches our mat, my towel & the lovely clean clothes I’d dreamt of slipping my cleansed silky body into, & out across the bush the last of our water gushes under the tiny motor’s pressure (it’s literally plugged into the cigarette lighter: how much pressure can it generate!)
After some serious #cursing from Step, my clothes & towel drenched while I remain naked & ready, shivering, but totally dry, he manages to gather more water (boil the billy again!), & get the water flowing for another ten seconds, you know, just long enough for me to smile & go ‘aaah’, when the shower instantly moans & jams to an abrupt stop on the tiny pebbles that have stuck to my feet in my hasty exit during the first explosion, which have filled the tub of new water with debris. There I am, again, almost wet, #dripping; this time bent over with my luxurious lemon-grass&kelp-soap in one hand, a shaver in the other, ready for some serious ‘mowing’ of the fur – just one long ‘track’ into the task, when whoosh, a huge gust of wind blows my walls down! With the tarp billowing sky-high in the wind, my naked, barely-wet, freezing-cold, #goosebumped, fury body is left boldly, awkwardly, #embarrassingly on show for fellow campers to get their laugh on for the day.
In my scramble to reach my already wet towel, my foot slips & more dirt fills the tub.
Meanwhile, Step has thrown the shower about five kilometres into the bush in frustrated anger, releasing a string of shouted words I’m not even sure HE knows the meaning of.
I resort to a rapid sponge bath in mud.
One shaved track down my left leg gleaming as smooth as silk amidst the spikey black hairs & I think I can hear the flees cheering & see what appears to be them throwing tiny coloured streamers into the air.
Shivering in the now gale-force wind that’s whipped up in full force simply because it knows how #vulnerable I am. The tarp has sailed away like a kite, now just a tiny spec in the sky; quite a spectacular sight if all eyes weren’t still on the naked woman with the #mud streaked down half her body like she was about to launch into traditional native dance any minute.
I lunge again, toppling the last of the mud onto our welcome mat, grabbing for the wet beach towel so full of sand, as I wrap my dirty body in it, my skin’s left feeling like sandpaper.
Ah, living the dream!
You’ve been Luvd on by
Luv, joy & 🎶 ‘always look on the bright side of life’ 🎶